The Ruler of Conscience

Author: Zbigniew Żbikowski

"Your past is important because it brought you to the place where you are, but even more important is the way you see your future."
– Dr. Tony Campolo from Eastern College, Pennsylvania.

A certain young man once told me his story, which is worth knowing. It is highly likely that this story will help you find answers to the questions that concern you. What are these questions? Read this short story, and the questions will come to you on their own.

It is a fact that you can ask better questions in a field that you have studied even a little bit. However, only appropriate questions give you the right to expect appropriate answers.

I do not know if what my conversation partner told me was a dream, a vision, or just a delusion. That does not matter. You too can experience such a feeling. It will happen through this story.

There was a day when his imagination took him into the future. It is not known how far in time it was, but it is known that what he experienced then will inevitably come for each of us. The vision was very realistic because it showed the hour of his death.

"Yes, this is your last breath," his inner voice said. "See what you have accomplished in life," he said calmly.

Suddenly he found himself in his childhood. He was pulling his older sister's hair. She was annoying him. Everything annoyed him then. He was an incredible troublemaker. As he watched, he felt sorry that he was not a gentleman to his own sister. Several times she got punished for his mischief by their mother...

The vision passed very quickly. One could say that he grasped his whole past life in one moment. Just like in a computer program, he could browse all its elements. Almost, because he could not see the period that began on December 24, 1998, and lasted until its end.

This intrigued him very strongly. He felt that the meaning of his life was hidden precisely in that period.

It is a fact that you can ask questions in the field you have at least some knowledge of. Then it is much easier to ask. However, only accurate questions give you the right to expect accurate answers.

I do not know if what my interlocutor told me was a dream, a vision or just an illusion. It does not matter. You too can experience such a feeling. It may happen thanks to this story.

There was a day when his imagination took him into the future. How far away it was, it is not known, but it is known that what he experienced then will inevitably come for each of us. The vision was very realistic, as it represented the hour of his death.

"Yes, this is your last breath," his inner voice said. "See what you have accomplished in life," he said calmly.

Suddenly, he found himself in his childhood. He was pulling his older sister's hair. She annoyed him. Everything annoyed him then. He was an incredible brat. When he looked at it, he felt sorry that he was not a gentleman to his own sister. A few times, she got hit by their mom because of his pranks...

---

The vision passed very quickly. It could be said that in one moment he grasped his entire past life. Just like in a computer program, he could browse all its elements. Almost, because in no way could he see the period that began on December 24, 1998, and lasted until the moment of his end. It intrigued him very much. He felt that the meaning of the life he had behind him was hidden precisely in that period.

"Why can't I see this?" he asked, expecting an answer. "I must know what happened then. I must know the truth!"

As he demanded the truth about his life, somewhere in him the Voice spoke up. I will not even try to describe it, as it is impossible to put into words its beauty and the love that emanated from it.

"What do you expect from those pages of your life? What does it matter what happened in it for the situation you are in today? Know that you are leaving this world. You can no longer change the past."

"What? Do I just have to leave life like this?" he asked surprised. "I don't even know what I accomplished in that unknown part. I know it slipped away too quickly," he hoped that the Voice would hear him and respond.

He replied,

"Listen to me carefully, for what I'm about to tell you is of great importance to you. You were on Earth, and that counts. Your actions, words, and thoughts created the world as you left it. False modesty made you think that just living your life was enough. Know that such an attitude did not gain My approval. You did not accept the challenge to fight for your happiness. You hid from adversity, only to finally make deals with it. What do you expect from Me now? Do you want Me to help you? Know that I want to, but I am the law, and the law has consequences. Have you forgotten about your free and unforced will, which allowed you to make a choice? Yes, you chose to return to Me in accordance with the law of restraint, rather than the law of freedom."

"Father, is it really You?!" he recognized the One who spoke to him. "And what extraordinary thing was I supposed to do in my life that would bring You joy? I was born, and nothing in my life has gone right since then. You know what happened with my first marriage..."

"Silence! I do not want to hear about that," the Voice said. "I know you, for you have been in Me from eternity until now. Know that I love you, but because of the law that I am, your fear is a consequence. After all, you have been guided by it your whole life. Tell Me, why did you feed it with your attention so much that it grew to a point where it took away everything, I offered you?"

"I suffered, my Lord. I did not know the meaning of life. I did not know what to do with my life. I was afraid of the future." - he said.

"Look at what is left for you now in this moment besides fear. It has become your constant companion for an immeasurable amount of time and space." - The Voice became gentler than before and added - "If I could help you in some way, if I could tell you what I am telling you now earlier, would you have recognized Me if that had happened?"

"Yes, I would have recognized You, Lord! I recognize You now."

"If you say so, then know that during your earthly days, I spoke to you. But you hid from Me instead of listening to the words I gave you. You say that you were afraid of the future on Earth. Didn't you have dreams? Yes, dreams about the future of your loved ones and your own. Why did you turn away from them? You tell Me that you did not know the meaning of life. Why didn't you pursue your dreams? Based on them, you could set goals for yourself and strive for them. Why didn't you do that?"

For a moment, the voice fell silent. For him, it was an eternity. Perhaps then he understood the meaning of the moment and its duration. The voice spoke again.

"I spoke to you in the language of your life, for only in you could I make myself heard. I am the light! But to you, I could appear as your life. From the depths of your soul, I spoke to you so that you would find me and, through your earthly consciousness, see me. However, you cared so much about the affairs of the world around you that you were unable to turn to yourself to find me and know me. I know that you searched for me, that you longed for me, but the image you created of me was only an illusion.

I am eternally unchanging, and even if I wanted to, I could not make you know about my existence in the way you imagined. I also know that even if I were to come out of myself to reveal myself to you according to your image, you would not know me. You would pass by and, raising your gaze to the sky, you would wait for a different sign."

"What was the meaning of my life?" he asked the Speaker shyly.

Music filled the air around him. He had never heard anything like it before. The sounds were full of harmony and beauty. Its chords followed rhythmically and sweetly captured his heart. Suddenly, everything started swirling. He was racing somewhere in a space he could not measure. The music was getting further away, and he felt lonely and abandoned. He could not understand anything because nothing inside or outside him had any form. It became incredibly dark and quiet. Not entirely quiet, as he heard his voice.

"I'm scared! Lord, I am scared!" The voice grew louder, causing him even more suffering. It was fear! He recognized it now. Powerful, engulfing his whole being and growing still. With each passing moment, it became clear to him that he could no longer defeat it, that there was nowhere to run.

Helplessness and emptiness...

“Are you asking me about the meaning of your life or perhaps Mine?” - The voice returned. – “If you're asking me about the meaning of your life, then I will tell you that your greatest desire is to come to Me and know Me as I am. Deep down, you know that this is the truth that will fill you with the knowledge of the essence of all things. Once you come to Me, you will know that I Am Who I Am. Your entire life so far has been a search for the path that would lead you to Me. You have tried different paths, but when you ran out of strength to follow them, you fell on your knees and started to create your own idol. You deluded yourself that you would find Me in that creation, but you only need to turn to yourself because I am your life. You have no reason to be proud of this because everything that is not you also finds its life in Me. Besides Me, there is nothing, for I encompass everything. I am the law and the result of that law.”

“All right, but why did I live on earth? Why did I struggle with the problems of the visible world? I saw so much misery and suffering. How could I not be afraid, Father?”

“Everything began for you in the distant ages when, despite the unity of our beings, you decided to descend into darkness to independently determine your fate. You wanted to be equal to Me or even tell Me that you no longer needed Me, that you would create your own world. Your thought created matter. My word gave it harmony and life. There is no place for discord in Me. You reached for the fruit of knowledge and then you saw your naked form. You began to hide from Me. Know that you cannot hide from Me! You fled from Me into the world of matter, where you were born for ages in different forms. You never hid from Me. I know all your stories. Know, therefore, that your suffering was born from you, and since it is so, know that only you can extinguish its power forever. However, you must find the strength within you that will lead you to unity with Me, who is hidden within you.”

"You were born in the body of a human being in order to obtain such power, so that by the strength of your creative will, you could realize My closeness and omnipresence in your life. It is the power of your mind that brought into existence on this planet things in accordance with your desires and judgments. However, the thought is like the way you were when you left Me. Therefore, it rebels and only appropriates the right to describe the world. You call it reason, but in fact, you allowed yourself to be dazzled by your own lack of understanding. Your servant has taken control of your destiny, and when he realized that he could not control the simplest matters of the visible and invisible world, he created fear. The greatest chains that bind you originate from fear. Under the influence of fear, you began to seek Me in the external world around you. This caused you to move away from Me even more instead of getting closer. Yet it was then that I called to you the loudest and summoned you to return to your life. I gave you images in the form of dreams. In this way, I made you a promise to fulfill what is necessary for your development. It would have happened if only you had risen boldly and fought against the adversities. I wanted you to trust My word and set ambitious goals for yourself. I wanted to see you as a winner, but you gave in to laziness and fear at the same time. I wanted to fulfill My promises, for your success would have inspired other existences like you to be saved. I wanted...

He did not have the courage to speak. The voice fell silent, and in that silence, there was bitterness and sadness. After a moment, however, the silence subsided."

"... but your choice was to despair over your fate and cowardly withdraw from the fight."

"Lord, I believed that by devoting myself to peace, I would achieve understanding and thereby resolve my complicated affairs," he said.

"If you think you will attain peace once you finish the fight, then you are greatly deceived. The earthly world cannot give you the peace I speak of to you. As long as there are forces hostile to you, someday you will have to engage in battle. Only when you overcome all adversity will you receive the highest reward, which is to unite with Me in the luminous sound for all eternity. I am the prize for a valiantly fought battle. I do not allow anyone to win Me without a fight!"

He could not comprehend what He had told him. He had avoided confrontation his whole life. He did not want to harm anyone, so the holiest war was supposed to be the most important. He asked:

"So, was I supposed to fight and kill? Was it supposed to be that I had to argue with every adversity?" It really did not fit in his psyche. So, he continued to ask:

"My Lord, did you want me to embark on conquests of barbarians and infidels? Was I supposed to exterminate them? Isn't that what I did in my life?"

"Truly I tell you, you did not understand the words of Mine that the prophet spoke to you. Listen carefully! Your whole life since you left into the darkness has been a yearning search for the way back to Me. When you were born into the earthly body, you concentrated within yourself the forces that were to help you come to Me. However, it happened that these forces gained an advantage over you and took away from you what was rightfully yours. They spoke in your soul, calling themselves "I," but they had nothing to do with your true self. Therefore, as you can see, the whole battlefield and the forces you must overcome are within you. Even now, at the moment of death, it concerns you. You could have defeated them most easily on Earth. However, know that it is not about the desire to kill because what you would kill would be the seed creating new opposition. This would lead to the creation of new battles in which you would ultimately be defeated. So, you see that killing will never lead you to a real victory. The real victory is the state in which no force can challenge you to fight anymore. You must not kill anything! Everything you must overcome, you must force with your courage, bravery, and determination to give up the tools and power possessed by these forces for your service. I know that on Earth you sometimes felt that you had to fight outwardly, but I tell you that the essential and real fight against all adversities must be fought within you."

"Father, I remember that on Earth I was a man with material problems. What could I do in this matter?"

"You see, you did not impose your will on the external world around you. You surrendered your dreams given to you by me and did not set goals to achieve that could have solved your own problems in this earthly life. Today, your offspring has to struggle through the challenges of life without the support that you could have given them. Firstly, you could have set an example for your children on how to live in the external world. Secondly, you could have secured their material goods."

"But I didn't even know how to solve those problems. The probability of winning the lottery was slim..."

The voice interrupted him with a warm yet very critical laugh.

"Ha, ha, ha...!"

Then he said to him:

"Nothing that does not fall from the tree of fate as a fruit won in a battle will contribute to solving any of your problems. This also applies to the material sphere. The solution you are thinking of would not give you anything except for worsening your situation. You would have a mistaken belief that my speech is all about your worldly pleasures. In this earthly life, the law of sowing and reaping must be followed. Only sowing gives me the opportunity to acquaint the sower with the law of abundance. And this can only happen during harvest. Note that in the case of a number game or other game of chance, the sower is the one who created it and he has the right to the harvest. So, what did you sow in your life? You preached the false truth that money does not bring happiness. So why did you play and waste money that you could have multiplied in another way? This is an expression of your disregard for the eternal laws that I created to help you. Tell me, did you not know anyone who was free from material worries?"

"Yes, I knew such people, but none of them told me how to make money."

"I know that you didn't even bother to find the one who was supposed to help you. I put such people on your path many times. You judged them based on appearances. You turned away from them and continued to wander. And yet, you could have let an experienced guide lead you, so that later on you could repay the favor to someone in need," said the Voice.

"I thought that the statement in the holy scriptures, 'It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,' was true," replied the man, hoping to justify himself.

"That's what it says in the holy scriptures," acknowledged the Voice.

"Oh, you of little faith!" exclaimed the Voice. "Do these words not rather suggest that both are possible? Difficult, but possible. Just think where you would be if you won the lottery. You would be trembling with fear that you might lose it. And yet, you would still be its slave for all eternity, even if you lost it today. With such baggage, you would not enter My kingdom," concluded the Voice.

He did not dare interrupt Him. What He was saying completely exposed him of excuses...

"The currency of the material world is a unit of payment called money in your earthly times. It is a kind of spiritual material, thanks to which you could create any spiritual and material goods on Earth. If you wished to do so, you would have to start with yourself. Because, by connecting to the veins through which material and spiritual values of the Earth flow through your creative work, you would have the right to expect multiplied effects that would come back to you. Here, I emphasize that you should remember for eternity that you will always reap what you sow, and the harvest will be multiplied. From the beginning of your learning, I have taught you the law of responsibility. You seem to forget My teachings. What befalls you, you have caused! Returning to money, I want to tell you that there is a treasure trove containing endless wealth. You could easily find the key to it and draw from its resources for your own and others' good. You could have done it when you were living on Earth. Now you cannot fight, but then everything was possible. You could have overcome all externality and directed financial goods so as to provide support to those in need and still have enough for a comfortable life. Nothing bad would happen if you accumulated immense material and financial goods, which would make the world call you a wealthy man. Nothing bad would happen if you used these goods in moderation, as befits kings and other rulers of the earthly world. But much could have happened if you had allocated part of your collection to creating goods that would help people like you develop. You could have helped yourself, thus helping others by your example, and when necessary, by support. You preferred to delude yourself that manna would fall from heaven! Here, illusions led you astray, because manna from heaven was given to the nation that boldly broke free from its lethargy and followed My voice to the Promised Land. And you wanted to sit quietly, not exposing yourself to anyone. You longed for big money, hoping that I would offer them to you in response to your longing requests. You wanted me to buy your trust and faith in me for money. You sensed that trust and faith were the forces with which you had to endow me to gain the power to overcome the adversities of fate. Despite the accuracy of this intuition, you presented such an attitude that could not give you, My favor. If I had fulfilled your desires in such a situation, I would have harmed you and many of your brothers. In no case where you allowed to trust that all your whims would be fulfilled. Remember that only I know what is good for you! The trust that I wanted to see in you on Earth was only to leave the right to decide what could be fulfilled for you. Know that in most cases, in the final settlement, I gave you what you asked for, as long as fulfilling your request did not contradict the law that exists in Me."

"You didn't give yourself a chance to let the eternal power I could only create within you come to life, once your soul developed trust in me that no opposing forces could shake. But you harbored fears and worries that weakened your faith. You did not even trust yourself! Without self-trust, you can never trust me, as I speak of it here. Only such trust could have bestowed upon you a fate that would have brought you true union with me in conscious joy of existence."

'How was I supposed to know all of this?' he asked despairingly, hoping to justify himself. He continued, 'And now, I'm not even on Earth...'

That is, he was not sure what had happened to him. He did not know if he had already died or if he was still dying. But what difference did it make if he were alive? He realized that he had just experienced the final judgment. He sincerely regretted wasting his earthly life, which had suddenly become elusive - a life that was slipping irretrievably into the abyss of the past. Suddenly, he realized how much he loved it. Yes! He loved his life on Earth very much! It was the highest value, and he was losing it forever. The darkness surrounding him engulfed everything even more, intensifying his terror. He cried out into the void, 'I have lost everything! Even you do not accept me!' The emptiness responded with silence. He continued speaking:"

"What do I really desire from life, if I still have it?" he deeply pondered. "Father! I desire salvation more than anything in the world! I want to feel your closeness and be with you..."

Suddenly, overwhelming silence returned to him. Desperate anxiety filled his entire being. During his life on Earth, he had hoped that paradise would come after death, and that his fate would improve there. That hope burst like a soap bubble. He was engulfed in monstrous helplessness. Time flowed differently. It was impossible to describe. He existed but had no idea where he was or what he could grasp. He had no support. Everything around him was alien and hostile. At a certain moment, he realized that he had to seek something that would give him a chance to understand. He strained his entire being, all his strength, and realized that the will to understand what was happening to him had appeared in his heart. He knew he had to find the One who was speaking to him. When this will sprouted, the Voice spoke:

"I know you are seeking me. But be careful not to search in distant lands for what is so very close to you. I have made myself heard to assist you, for I want your search to be crowned with the success you desire. I want you to direct your steps where you should go."

"Where should I go, Lord?" he asked.

The Voice replied with these words:

"Indeed, you have accumulated error upon error, believing that your life is a sequence of random events emerging from the darkness of non-existence, which ends with dissolving back into nothingness. This attitude stems from the pride with which you have endowed your thoughts. Know that the spirit of the earthly world deceives wanderers to rob them of the creative will be given to them by Me. The spirit of the earthly world offers various material and immaterial goods on the way or takes them away to create fear in you. It feeds you with information about the fear and suffering that surrounds you. He wants you to submit to him. He wants you to grovel before him, asking him to leave you the goods that you have accumulated with great effort.

He wants to humiliate you, to finally deprive you of all the goods and values for which you have been working for him. By doing so, he attracts your attention and takes away the powers that you have accumulated in you for his services, so that when you become useless to him, he spits you into the bottomless, cold grave in which you are now. This is what happened in your life. The spirit of the world filled you with fears about the future. This is your legacy, which is enough for you and your remaining descendants on Earth. Even now, in this momentous moment, you are afraid, although you hear Me."

"Lord, is it not good that I fear You? You are the causing force that rewards and punishes, and from what I see here, I have not lived my life well. That is why I am afraid," he said to Him.

"I tell you that you have strayed far from Me. You think that the purpose of My existence and yours is to punish and reward. Know that even now, you still have the same form as when you lived in Me and rejoiced in My presence. Today, you hear My voice so that you may turn your eyes upward and direct them deep into your soul. You will never find Me in the distant depths of the Universe, even though every creature draws life from Me there. Look for Me within yourself. For there, you can find Me as your life, which is experienced and has its own foundation within you. It is hard for you to understand Me because you have not understood yourself. On Earth, you had the possibilities and the right to know the wonders that have filled your soul since time immemorial.

You sought confirmation of My existence outside of yourself, but I was close to you, as close as the light is to a burning fire. In yourself, you could have found that warmth which you lack now because you do not know Me. Your earthly consciousness has not reflected to you your own life in which I could have revealed Myself to you, hidden in you from eternity to eternity...

He could not concentrate on His words because his consciousness was filled with deep sorrow that he was already standing on the brink of life. He knew that he had disappointed Him many times, that he had wasted many useful things, and that he had squandered many powers that were favorable to him."

"Oh, if only I could have one more day ahead of me" - he lamented.

"How much I could do with what I know today! If only I could be a young man again! If I were in my twenties or thirties!

I would be braver, take more risks in life. If only it were so, Father, I would have the strength to put your words into action.

But the voice continued as if he wasn't listening."

"I have loved you for eternity. I love you even though in that forgettable moment you wanted to leave me. I love you even now, in the hour of your death, although you feel helpless and lost. Besides me, there is nothing that I can embrace with my love. Like me, you had to learn to love yourself more than anything else besides yourself. You had to first embrace yourself with the fire of love, because only then could you learn to love other beings and things. Only such love could confirm what you love, because true love exists only when you know how to love. How could you know how to love if you did not love yourself? In yourself, you could discover the greatest love in me, which would give you the highest, deeply flowing confirmation of your life in harmony with my being."

"But I loved my loved ones, the suffering, and other earthly creatures. My compassion for afflicted beings was immense. I knew love, Lord!" - he confessed into the darkness.

"You were taught wrong that you must love everything. There are things in the visible and invisible world that you should never love. Love confirms what it loves, and not everything is beneficial for you and others. You could have learned what to love within yourself. Everything else you had to leave outside the realm of your love, not giving it your attention. I know that where you did not cultivate love, hate often appeared. This is a mistake for which you are paying a high price today. What you wanted to deny had to be left outside your love. Not loving is a denial. Hatred, on the other hand, is an admission of the powerlessness to overcome what you hate.

By harboring any object in the visible or invisible world with hatred, you are feeding a monster that will one day stand at your head and devour you! How much evil would disappear from the Earth if hatred did not strengthen its forces again."

He was spinning in space, unable to find a foothold. So many words, so much knowledge. He could not quite grasp the essence of his last statement. He loved someone in life - at least he thought so until now. Was He telling him that he could not love at all?

"Is it possible" - he asked - "that the love I had for my loved ones was not really that lofty feeling?"

"Your highest love, which you can only find in Me, does not know any object of love. You could have known it if you had only turned to yourself to find Me there as your life. You failed to learn to love yourself in your earthly time. You began to think that you loved others. In reality, you deceived yourself and those whom you endowed with feelings. It was not love! What you felt originated from the impulses of the body or from other selfish motives that arose from the unrestrained mind."

Silence prevailed, which became his constant companion every time He stopped speaking...

"Yes, you deceived yourself and others!" he exclaimed.

Those words shook the young man to the core of his being. So much needed to be done on Earth for his life. Where could he take examples that would be his guide on the wilds of earthly existence? Now he could do nothing. Darkness and emptiness surrounded him. He thought then of light, of how much he missed it right now. He thought that the light was the radiant brightness of the Sun. On Earth, it shone from afar and was the most powerful force he knew. He felt then the enormity of the cosmos, in whose space this great star was suspended. However, he knew that it was precisely this force that caused the processes that made life on Earth possible. He knew about the evolution of matter because he was interested in this issue. He sensed that there was someone or something - an indeterminate human measure of the causal force of everything that surrounded him in life. He believed that He was there - watching... Other people thought the same way. They were usually not peaceful people. They struggled with their fate, snatching various goods for themselves, and harming each other. The young man did not accept such a life as those who "acted differently." He thought that the sinful life of man consisted precisely in that. After encountering death, he learned about his sins. The voice said something that shook him even more.

"Now you see that you lack light. You lack it because true light is the brightness that no darkness can obscure. They cannot obscure it! The Sun that you knew on Earth was not really light, more than the slightest glimpse of consciousness in your soul. The brightness of the Sun will pass and dissolve into memory. It is true that you felt an inner spark of brightness within you when earthly days were filled with sunlight. That distant fire could only give you real light. That was enough for you! Your laziness made you prefer to think of this spark as evidence of your ability to shine, which you wanted to reach in later times. It was your pride that made you believe more in the illusion of what you called life on Earth than in your real life. And that is precisely where I could fill you with light. If you stood at the door of the treasure house and patiently waited for them to open it for you..."

"Many like you wandered through the same paths as you for centuries without being able to find Me. In their dark foolishness, they believed that their conscious experience on Earth was enough for them to fulfill their purpose. Their earthly days were filled with a hateful and envious existence. Often, many perish at their hands, those who have what they want.

These scavengers take their loot where death resides. Very often, they invite it to someone is being...

"Master!" he cried out desperately, fearing he would be judged for things he did not do. "What do I have in common with the world of criminals and wrongdoers? I had no influence on these matters. I never stole anything, harmed anyone, or killed anyone to take something from them. I have not killed anyone at all!"

"I know your respect for life and your admiration for its various earthly forms,"- replied to the Voice. - "I also know your explanations and those of others like you who live on Earth, pointing to external circumstances and environmental degradation as the cause of the escalation of violence and crime. And I tell you that these circumstances are largely a result of your fear and apprehension. Did you say you had no influence on the major events in the world around you? You could not do anything to change external circumstances? Then I tell you that the lack of influence is also an influence! Behind these words lies the main culprit of all the misfortune that happened around you."

After these last words, the young man completely lost his orientation. He began to doubt himself. He thought something must have happened in his life that brought him before such a severe judge. He focused his attention on reviewing his earthly life, but he could not see the parts that followed Christmas in 1998. He remembered the date of those holidays as the last before what he was experiencing now. Deep down, he knew it did not mark the day of his death. So, what happened in those unknown parts of his life? For what is he being judged?

The Voice continued speaking.

"I wanted to see you as a winner, who, by giving me an unshakeable trust, would be the foundation for my own power. Your victory over adversity would draw the attention of others like you, no matter where they were. But you refused to support me and cowardly turned to chance. You made a god out of it and paid him homage by offering him your fears, thoughts full of dread, helplessness, and despair. Yes, you called upon me with the words I put into your mouth, but you did not hear me because you spoke even then when I was talking to you. Believe me, I gave you the right to speak, but you stubbornly remained silent, even though I created all the circumstances to make you heard. Your voice was meant to sow, to cut off any evil from the hearts of those like you seeking me. If it had sounded boldly in the spaces of the world, then my power could have filled you all with abundance. It would have happened because I desired it for you. I promised you this when I breathed life into you in distant times. And know that I see no reason why my word should not be fulfilled for you! The thing is that you and others blinded by fear and laziness believe that everything is heading towards destruction. It is you who create hell! Fear has blinded you so much that you cannot see that you are lying to my Word. Indeed, it is a bold blasphemy, to which you also adhere. Even now, when I speak to you, you are afraid."

The young man felt truly terrified. He had nothing to defend himself - and even that became a sin! He spoke to him, and it was a just voice. Stern, but fair. But there was something warm in that justice. Maybe understanding? That is unknown. He sensed a delicate hint of hope that he still had a chance to push away what was inevitably approaching him. With time, this hope became stronger. There was even an internal feeling of certainty that what was previously hopeless is the beginning of something great. He began to feel that life was gushing from the depths of his being, filling him more and more. His hope became a certainty that the essence of spirit fills life. Life that means nothing but him, yet for him, it is the most precious possession he has ever had. The sudden realization of this discovery revealed to him his inseparable connection to the infallible force that caused this miracle, of which he witnessed the miracle of the birth of life.

He knew that deep within his soul there was a clarity that would illuminate all darkness for him. He knew that hostile forces would start to hide in their burrows from this light. He began to feel that deep within his being, he could find the power that would help him conquer his opposites.

The young man told me about this feeling, so that I could realize the secrets that lie within my own soul.

I did not tell you about this to make you believe that you are facing yet another person who possesses all the knowledge of the world. You see, like me, you have experienced certain emotions through contact with this story. The young man, however, at the time when he experienced what I just told you about, was convinced of his end. He was convinced that he could no longer do anything because his existence was coming to an end. He told me about his deep longing, which he felt at that time. It was a longing for another chance - for his youth. He reflected on his mistakes in life. He knew that he was ready to make a pledge to Him that he would act differently with his life if he were given it again.

"If I knew what I know now," he said to himself, "how much could I do to change my and the world's fate?"

And when he spoke these words, He said to him:

"Let it be done according to your word. Go and fill the pages yet unwritten as you see fit.

Remember, today is the first day of your new life. Go boldly forward.

The key to happiness is to dream.

If I may give you advice now, while you hear Me, then listen. Allow the thought to grow in your heart that I am closer to you than anything else. Imagine that I am embracing you and stroking your temple like My most beloved child. Let this be your greatest dream. Know that dreams come true! Trust My Word unreservedly. Such trust will give you the right to expect fruits from what you have sown in the past. But be careful to trust wisely if you want to accomplish something outside yourself. You cannot trust that all your whims will be fulfilled. You do not have to tell Me what is good for you. Trust Me and find your deepest dreams. Dare to dream, set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Be helpful to others in your actions. No dream justifies hurting your neighbor or other beings. Let your courageous action lead you to victory over everything that separates you from Me. Let us go! I am with you. Do not be afraid when you see opposing forces that clash with each other. Know that I radiate them within Myself to create forms of life. The worlds would be gray and cold if I did not oppose diverse forces, thanks to which I create movement and energy. That is why I need your trust so that you do not be frightened by what surrounds you and you know that whatever may happen to you will be for the good of you and the world. Do not try to understand My plan until I reveal it to you! Know that you are an important part of it. However, I want you to actively manifest your faith and not hide in anticipation of events that would confirm what the prophets and fortune-tellers predicted. I gave you these prophecies to weaken the spirit of this world. I want you to tell him, after reflection, that it will pass. Speak the truth that man is My child. Proudly bear your name and raise your forehead to the sky!

But let pride be foreign to you. You are one of many. You are My beloved son, but you have sisters and brothers whom I also love.

However, you are the only one of My sons who is who he is. And no one else can be with you where you can be. Remember that you are unique and only one. I protect you as My most precious treasure.

So, it is in truth forever! Rejoice in yourself, for I will reveal Myself to you in full beauty only when you, transformed into joy, approach Me."

After these words, he woke up, or maybe even was awakened from a dream. When he opened his eyes, he saw that he was in his apartment - a small, cramped space. In the corner stood a decorated small Christmas tree, and on the wall hung a calendar marked with the date December 25, 1998. His heart was pounding in his chest like a bird caught in the hand.

---

As I mentioned to you, the reader, at the beginning, I still do not know today whether my interlocutor was only sleeping or experienced a vision.

Or maybe he was talking to Him after all?

This does not change one fact from the future - the last breath is approaching with every moment. There will be no second chance!

"Today is the first day of your new life!" I said aloud to myself.